great choice of user name! I need coffee too
This is a bit complicated, and we would need to know more about your income specific overseas contract, and more to figure everything out.
A1: this isn't quite right
I'm not able to make the numbers add up from what you've shared here. If you are excluding your income, it would only make sense to contribute to a traditional/deductible 401k if your income is over the FEIE amount + 401k contribution max (105,900 + 19,000 for 2019.)
Then, in addition you have your husband's US based earned income (if I'm understanding correctly), your US based income (if you traveled back to NY for business meetings, your income during that time is not excludable), your income over the FEIE max, and investment income.
If that is the case, you have no tax free space, and any Roth conversion would be taxed at 22%+. See A2 below
A2: yes, foreign earned income is factored in
With the FEIE, you need to calculate your US taxes as if you were in the US the entire time. No exclusions. And then the tax that would have applied to the foreign earned income is subtracted from the total.
See our 2017 tax return for an example of how that works:
https://www.gocurrycracker.com/go-curry-cracker-2017-taxes-feie/A3: You would pay tax on the Roth conversion, plus if you had qualified dividends / capital gains that were previously taxed at 0%, some of those could be pushed into the 15% marginal rate.
In some cases, this could mean a tax of 22% on the Roth conversion + 15% tax on those qualified dividends for an effective tax rate of 37%
See this post for examples:
https://www.gocurrycracker.com/feie-and-capital-gain-harvesting/A4) Any Roth conversion would be taxable by NY State as long as you are considered a resident.
They may even tax the excluded foreign income if your foreign assignment is temporary and they believe you intend to return to NY, which sounds like the case. See this as a possible starting point for further research:
https://ttlc.intuit.com/community/tax-credits-deductions/discussion/full-year-resident-of-ny-state-living-in-foreign-country/00/543553Overall, I would run the numbers to see if you would pay less tax as Married filing Separately, and see if you can argue that you have no intention of returning to NY. This is probably a good conversation to have with a NY/Expat tax specialist
The folks at Taxes for Expats may be able to help (they have quite a few articles on this topic)
https://www.gocurrycracker.com/tax-services/